Oh, how hard it is to write!
by TheObsessedFanficer
Summary: Kylo, Rey, Phasma, Hux, and Finn, must write stories to explain the destruction of Starkiller! Unfortunately, they have to face the struggles of writing, directing, programming, and acting when they all choose to represent the destruction of Starkiller differently! Please review if there are any typos or if you like or not! Thanks! (Sorry, Finn wouldn't fit in char. list) Ty! :3


Hi. It's me again. Before you complain, I have not been continuing any of my stories due to the fact that they suck and my writing style has both improved and changed a holy flippin' lot. (Reading through my writing I know I could have done a whole lot better).

So, I (The Obsessed Fanficer/ Absolutely N.O. One) Hereby decry, that all my stories are hereby discontinued due to...

TERRIBLE WRITING

(and yes I know this A/n had terrible writing. But I don't need to dramatically describe my decisions... do I?)

I guess I will post this under... Straw wars! (Yes I did intend that to say Straw wars).

(This is intended to be a happy, laughing fic so... If it seems a bit OOC forgive me... I'm only human! And a bit wolf, cat, bee... With a few split personalities... Whatever).

* * *

On a bright, sunny, cheerful morning, a girl sat at her computer. Outside, birds were chirping, flowers were blooming, and bees were buzzing.

She held her head in concentration and frustration.

 _"What will I do to Ray, Kylo, Hux, and Phasma today?"_ She wondered. _"I know!"_

She grabbed a bottle of milk and a can of cookies and set to work furiously on her computer, crumbs spilling of her face and onto the floor.

* * *

In a galaxy far, far away:

Rey has escaped to Luke Skywalker's current home of Ahch- To. Kylo Ren, Hux, and Phasma had miraculously escaped the Star Destroyer. Hux had been sulking the entire way to Supreme Leader Snoke's ship. Kylo Ren was laying in the Infirmary, while Phasma was... Off somewhere, most likely doing something idiotic. Hux hit his head in frustration. When Starkiller erupted, the dynamic duos ship had only just cleared the atmosphere. The noise of the explosion was like a thousand, million screaming souls, each one of them shouting as close as possible to Hux's ears. (Holy biscuits and gravy, so many typos in this paragraph!)

He found it hard to concentrate when all he could hear was a ringing. Phasma came marching through the doorway of Hux's quarters, accompanied by what little storm troopers were left.

"What do you want?!" Hux screamed.

"We have reached Supreme Leader Snoke's ship!" Phasma shouted back. They both had to scream to hear each other over the roaring in their ears.

"Prepare for landing, and inform Kylo Ren!"

"What?!" She shouted.

"Never mind! I'll do it!' He screamed. He brushed past Phasma in the doorway.

Flinging open the infirmary doors, he said (Shouted) "Kylo Ren! Wake up! We have landed!"

Kylo jolted up. "Very well! Inform Supreme Leader Snoke of my Presence!" The storm troopers, who had just entered the room, cringed. They had not been on Star Killer as long as Kylo, Hux, and Phasma were- so the 'talking' was yelling to their ears.

"Already done!" Phasma screamed out. "Supreme Leader Snoke wishes to talk to you personally, Kylo!"

They walked off the ship. Due to the explosion of Starkiller, the door had fallen off. Before Kylo had went to the medbay, him and Hux taped over the hole with clear plastic wrap.

Kylo marched off (Looking bad butt) first, then Hux, then Phasma. Ren stopped suddenly, causing Hux and Phasma to crash into him. They all tried moving their legs, their arms, anything. Unfortunately, all it did was make them look not only like idiots, but like flies caught in a spider web. (*authors sarcastic split personality* The horror...) SHUT UP UH, UH... ME. (Sorry...)

After some storm troopers came and rescued them (For some reason they all had scissors), the devilish trio walked to Snoke's quarters.

"Supreme Leader Snoke, reporting for duty!" Hux shouted, "A ten-hut!" Phasma and Ren just looked at him in bewilderment.

"Why would we build ten huts? We already have so many star destroyers. And hut's won't survive in space." Phasma speculated.

Snoke looked between the three of them in confusion. "That's... something you three can talk about on your on time. Now, do any of you know why I have called you here?"

Kylo bowed. "Oh, Lord and Survivor of the Siths, the great supreme leader of all time"

"Kylo Ren, your finished with your training. You do not have to bow to me anymore!" Snoke said, agitated. "No, no no. I have brought you here because I need you to account for the destruction of the great Star Killer Base." Hux sniffled at the mention of his 'baby'.

"So, I would like a 600 page essay about what led up to the events on Star Killer Base, as descriptive as you would like. Make it a story, if you wish, a movie even. A holo-show, perhaps. But whatever it is, we want answers. Our engineers want to know how, and I will repeat, how Starkiller Base erupted."

"Uh, just speculating, sir, but perhaps the reason was the vulnerable exhaust port that the engineers installed upon the base? I've noticed that in almost... well... all of the Death Stars, a similar problems was shown." Phasma commented.

"No. We must have giant exhaust ports, always! Do I have to spell this out for you? T.A.R.T.I.D.I.T.I.O.N.E." Snoke raged.

"Tartiditione? What is tartiditione?" Kylo asked.

"No, you fool, you bumbling idiot! Not tartiditione! Do you not know how to spell! Tradition! FOOL!"

Kylo just frowned.

"Anyways," said Snoke, regaining his composition, "Anyways, begin on your accounts... NOW!"

The trio rushed off. Hux had it in his mind to direct a movie, seeing that he was used to directing so many people already- what was a ton of spoiled actors to him?

Kylo decided he was to write a book. "Easy," he thought, "I'm a good writer, and this requires a lot less of effort."

Phasma began to create a holo-show.

(Obsessed Fanficer's scientific split persona: In case you did not know, reader, a holo-show is similar to our modern day television show, only different in that each 'episode' is rather short with each episode combined into one, making it more like a movie. However, a holo-show has the option to watch it as one whole movie or as individual episodes, making it easier to film. And-) Ok, shut up me. (FINE! Wait, did I mention it's all virtually, holographically done? That's what really makes it a holo-show).

Anyyywaays, Phasma began to create a Holo-show.

* * *

So, what do you think? It was terrible, wasn't it? I'm sorry. ^_^ Anyways, how will our great characters react to the challenges of filmin/writing/holographically filming? (Spell check said holographically isn't a word. Isn't spell check stupid?)

Also, how will Rey and Fin react to their assignment to relate accounts of the destruction of Starkiller base? Watch out for a surprise at the story ending!

(Should I change my pen name to Absolutely N.O. One? Vote in the comments, please).


End file.
